What if the woman you're trying so hard to become isn't someone new?
What if she's the woman you were before the world told you to be quieter, nicer, smaller, and definitely not too much?
That question sat at the center of my conversation with Heather A. Lee on Carrie On! Heather has worked in women's mental health for more than 30 years. She's a licensed clinical social worker, a psychedelic-assisted psychotherapist and a natural medicines facilitator. For the past five-plus years, she has worked only with psilocybin, the compound found in certain mushrooms. Most of her clients are women in their late 50s and 60s.
And no, we're not going to Woodstock. 😉
From Aging to Saging
Our culture loves the word crone. Heather prefers sage.
"We're becoming sages," she told me. This is the stage of life when our hard-earned wisdom becomes something to wear proudly. We reflect, we share and we guide.
The cultural story says aging means getting smaller, slowing down and stepping back. Heather sees the opposite. Midlife is when women finally have the most to offer. The trouble is that so many of us are still apologizing for it.
How Women Get "Dosed" with Messages to Stay Small
In a recent LinkedIn article, Heather wrote that women spend a lifetime being metaphorically dosed with messages to stay small, quiet and accommodating. The comments poured in because women recognized themselves in it.
Heather described those messages as microdoses. They're small, constant and cumulative.
She gave her own example. She has dyscalculia, a learning difference that affects how the brain handles numbers, and it has nothing to do with intelligence. ("I am smart AF," she said.) Still, she grew up hearing she "couldn't do math." Later, her first husband used that story to shut her out of their family finances.
That's how it works. You hear a message often enough and it becomes your story, even when it was never true.
I felt that one. Growing up, I was called bossy. In college, a boyfriend told me I was so loud. It took me years to reframe it. Was I loud, or was I enthusiastic? Was I bossy, or was I trying to be heard in rooms full of men?
It turns out I was bossy because I was going to be a boss.
How Psilocybin Helps Rewrite Old Stories
This is where psilocybin comes in.
Heather explained that psilocybin acts on the brain's serotonin receptors and quiets the default mode network. That's the part of the brain that holds our fixed narratives: This is who I am. This is how the world works.
When that network softens, the brain enters a highly neuroplastic state. That opens a window to form new neural pathways and update outdated beliefs.
"Pharmaceuticals just treat a symptom," Heather said. "This is giving you the opportunity to really heal some of those stories."
She sees it again and again in her practice. Women suddenly realize, I've been living narratives that don't fit me anymore. Maybe they never did. She calls it a homecoming to your true self.
What a Psilocybin Session Actually Looks Like
Forget the TV version. Heather's process is careful, supportive and built on trust:
A free 30-minute consult to ask questions, share your intention and see whether it feels right
Medical screening to review your history and medications
Prep sessions to explore your goals, your past and where you're headed
The medicine day. You drink psilocybin as a tea made with honey, ginger and lemon. Then you rest behind eye shades while curated, ethereal music guides a four-to-six-hour journey. "It looks like you're taking a nap," Heather said.
Integration sessions afterward to make sense of what came up
In total, clients get about 12 to 15 hours of care around a single journey.
A Breakthrough Story: "Forgive Me"
Heather shared one story I haven't stopped thinking about.
A woman in her 50s came in because life felt "a little flat." When she was 11, she had watched her mother die in an accident. She had done years of therapy and told Heather that loss wasn't going to come up.
During her psilocybin journey, she found herself standing in a peaceful field under a clear blue sky. She felt hands on her shoulders and smelled her mother's scent. Then she heard her mother whisper, Forgive me. The clouds spelled out the word forgive.
Afterward, she realized the one piece she'd never resolved was her anger at her mother for leaving her. No therapist had ever made room for that anger. In one moment, it released.
"I didn't orchestrate that. She didn't orchestrate that," Heather said. "It's our own inner wisdom that's coming up."
Heather has collected stories like this in her book, The Psilocybin Sessions.
Community, Retreats and the Azores
Heather also leads small psilocybin retreats for six to eight women. Many of them call themselves introverts who can't stand small talk, and they leave having found soul sisters.
Her newest offering is a nature-immersion retreat in the Azores, the Portuguese islands she described as "Avatar land." These retreats use microdoses of psilocybin to heighten your attunement to nature. Picture meditation on black sand beaches, walks through mossy forests, cow cuddling and very good local cheese.
Honestly, she had me at cheese.
Psilocybin Isn't for Everyone. Do Your Homework.
Heather was clear that psilocybin therapy has limits:
It isn't for everyone. A history of bipolar disorder or psychosis, and certain medications like lithium, can rule it out. Proper medical screening is essential.
It isn't a magic fix. "It doesn't change your life," she said. "It can set you on the course to make some big changes."
You have to feel called. "It can't be, 'My husband says I have to do this.'"
Vet your practitioner. Psilocybin services are legal in Oregon and Colorado, and not every licensed facilitator has mental health training. Heather has seen a yoga instructor get licensed. Look for someone trained in both mental health and psychedelic medicine who has done their own work with the medicine.
Be wary of package deals. Do one journey, see what it gives you, and wait until you feel called again.
Stop Apologizing. Start Saging.
Here's what I took from this conversation. In our 50s, 60s and 70s, "there is no audience," as Heather put it. We don't have to perform for anyone anymore.
Whether or not psilocybin is part of your path, the invitation is the same. Unlearn the stories you never chose. Take up space. Be loud, bossy and wise.
She was never gone. She was waiting for you.
Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Prefer to watch? Head to YouTube.
Connect with Heather: heatheralee.com
Instagram: @heatherleewellness
Book: The Psilocybin Sessions
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This post is for educational purposes only and isn't medical advice. Psilocybin services are legal only in certain states. Talk to a qualified professional before exploring psychedelic therapy.
